Brad & Trevor’s wedding was a relaxed and elegant celebration of the union of two families and equality – just as they envisioned it. Can you tell Brad is a performer?
How did you meet?
Trevor: We met 14 years ago when we briefly went to the same college. I left after only one semester, but we’d always kept in touch and hung out. We never started dating because whenever it was convenient for one of us, it wasn’t for the other. Either Brad was traveling the country for work, or I was living in Texas.
Who proposed and how?
Trevor: I was the first to propose. I spent many weeks crafting a ring box out of the remains of a tree that my parents had planted 30 years ago and was lost in Hurricane Sandy. My father helped me make it. I used a varnish my grandfather created and lined the box with one of his handkerchiefs. I invited a few friends over to Brad’s apartment one summer evening for a dinner party. They were all aware of what was going to happen. I asked one of them to bring his guitar and on my cue he began playing Brad’s favorite song “Just One Person.” We all sang and at the end I was holding the open box to Brad – who was already planning to propose to me!
Now that you’ve been through planning a wedding together, what advice would you give to other couples starting the process? Any special advice for same-sex couples?
Trevor: If your mother keeps trying to do it for you… LET HER! Seriously, I don’t know what I was thinking. It would have been so much easier if I didn’t insist that we do it on our own.
For same-sex couples – go with people you know you can trust. When a vendor or venue hands you paperwork to fill out and it lists only Bride & Groom, bring it up to them. It’s not a slight, it’s usually a simple oversight and many were mortified at their error. Lastly, check for lists of businesses that support marriage equality. It’s so important that you utilize someone who has clearly raised their hand as an ally.
What was your favorite part of the wedding day?
Trevor: I remember so little , honestly, but my favorite part was clearing out the bridal… erm… groom suite of everyone and having the attendant bring in our pastor, who was there as a guest only. Our officiant was lost, we were about to start and in a pinch she was able to jump in. Probably because it was the only point during the day that I, as a project manager, was able to manage anything! But also because we were able to have the person preside over our wedding that we really wanted.
How does it feel different being married?
Trevor: I wouldn’t say it feels any different, since we were living together for about a year. But it is thrilling that this is a fully, legally recognized marriage and that if something happens to one of us, the other is not going to lose everything we built together.
Ceremony & reception venue: The Estate at Florentine Gardens – River Vale, New Jersey
Cake: Palermo’s Bakery – Ridgefield Park & Union City, New Jersey
Flowers: Broderick’s Flowers – Bergenfield, New Jersey
Invitations: The Papery
DJ – Paul Anthony
Bergen County Wedding Photographer – Leslie Barbaro